Self-care vs. self-connection
I love self-care, yet I see how we sometimes treat it like a checklist.
Drink water… Check.
Walk for 30 minutes… Check.
Journal... Check.
But self-connection asks a deeper question: What do I actually need today? Sometimes it’s a salad; sometimes it’s calling a friend; sometimes it’s turning off screens and going to bed. When you’re connected to yourself, your actions feel aligned. And aligned actions stick.
This matters even more if you’re navigating diabetes, preconception, or chronic stress. You’re juggling numbers, appointments, opinions, and emotions.
Self-connection centers your values and season of life, so your actions become doable rather than “ideal.”
Find your First Pearl
The first pearl is the smallest meaningful action you’re ready to take this week. Not the flashiest, not the “fittest,” not the one your favorite influencer swears by—the one you’ll actually do.
Try this 5-minute exercise:
Name the desire. In a sentence, write what you want more of (energy, steady blood sugar, better sleep, less rushing).
List three barriers. Time? Motivation? Evenings derailed by work? Be honest.
Choose a single lever. What tiny action would nudge your day in the right direction despite those barriers?
Make it stupid-simple. If “sleep by 10:30” keeps failing, try “screens off by 10:00” or “in bed reading by 10:15.”
Attach it to a current behavioral cue (habit-stacking). After brushing teeth → 5-minute stretch. After lunch → 10-minute walk. After dinner → prep breakfast smoothie.
Examples of realistic first pearls:
Drink a full glass of water before coffee.
Add one colorful plant to each meal.
Take a 10-minute walk after lunch.
Put your phone to charge outside the bedroom.
Set out tomorrow’s meds/supplies before bed.
Write tomorrow’s top 1–3 priorities on a sticky note.
Notice what’s missing:
“Start marathon training.”
“Cut out all sugar.”
“Cook every meal at home.”
These might matter one day. But a first pearl should feel like: I can do that today.
How to keep adding pearls (even when life happens)
Use a visual. Draw a simple strand of circles. Fill in a circle each time you complete your action. It’s satisfying and motivating.
Keep the bar low, then add layers. Once your first pearl feels automatic, stack a second.
Expect imperfect weeks. Gaps are normal. Your only job is to place the next pearl.
Measure what matters to you. Energy, mood, steps, meals, glucose stability, sleep consistency, whatever it may be. Choose a few simple markers and track lightly.
Anchor in community. Change feels easier when someone sees you. A coach, a friend, a trusted group. Accountability with warmth (not shame) is powerful.
What about nutrition, movement, sleep, stress?
The String of Pearls isn’t vague. It’s a practical structure for the foundations:
Nutrition: Think “add, then refine.” Add protein and plants first. Refine portions and timing later.
Movement: 10–20 minutes most days beats 60 minutes twice a week. Walks, short strength sessions, gentle mobility.
Sleep: Protect a wind-down window and anchor your wake time when possible.
Stress: Micro-practices like 2 minutes of box breathing, stepping outside between meetings, or saying no to one extra commitment all make a real difference.
For most of my clients, these basics are not “nice to have.” They’re game-changers for energy, mood, hormonal balance, and resilience. But you don’t have to perfect them. You only have to keep placing pearls.
The mindset that makes it stick
Progress over perfection. A wobbly week with 6 pearls beats a “perfect” plan you abandon.
Identity over outcomes. You’re becoming someone who shows up for oneself. That identity fuels future actions.
Kindness over judgment. Shame stalls behavior; compassion restarts it.
Ready to begin?
If you’re nodding along but unsure where to start, I designed a Self-Connection Session just for this moment. In one gentle, focused conversation, we’ll clarify what you need right now and identify your First Pearl: a simple, aligned action you can take this week. You’ll leave with a short, clear plan and a calmer mind.
Your string is built one bead at a time. Let’s place the first one together.
Book your Self-Connection Session on my profile when you’re ready.
